Sometimes it Just Isn't Easy

Sometimes it seems that life and I are not friends at all anymore, if ever we were.

It gets hard when things refuse to go right. When the money is gone and one is reduced to the kindness of others only to find there are few who wish to be kind because they don't particularly like me.

Many times I have considered people who have given up completely, and I have always said to myself that they should just have hung on a little longer. And yet I find that now I, too, consider the merits of giving up.

It's hard.

His voice then shook the earth; but now he has promised, "yes once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heaven." This phrase, "yet once more," indicates the removal of what is shaken, as of what has been made, in order that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:25-29 Revised Standard Version

Everything that can be shaken will be shaken. That's just the way it is. So what of faith? My faith?

It's hard to keep going. It's hard to endure. It's hard when one doesn't know what to do anymore.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the equipment of the gospel of peace; besides all these, taking the shield of faith, with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that utterance may be given me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. Ephesians 6:10-20 Revised Standard Version

My scripture reading just a few minutes ago was Acts, chapter 27. In this chapter the Apostle Paul is being transported to Italy. The ship encounters a storm and all is lost - except the lives of the 276 people on board. They suffered without food fourteen days, fearful of their lives. An angel of God came to Paul to assure him all would be well. Many is the time I have wished God would send an angel to assure me.

But there is no need for the assurance of angels. God has given us the Holy Scriptures, and we must believe them or we will not believe an angel should one come.

Abraham said to him, "They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them." And he said, "No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent." But he said to him, "If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead." Luke 16:29-31 New King James Version

So to endure is weariness. It is hard.

I am a debtor both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to wise and to unwise. So, as much as is in me, I am ready to preach the gospel to you who are in Rome also. For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith, as it is written, "The Just shall Live by faith." Romans 1:14-17 New King James Version

It's Hard Being Down

There are those who by the words they choose seem to imply that faith in God means happiness all the time. I'm not sure that's scriptural, either in the Quran, the Torah, or the Bible. But it's what many preach.

And they have the audacity to wonder why others call them hypocrites.

In the Bible, the Apostle Paul talks about being content.

I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me; you were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I complain of want, for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content. I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want. I can do all things in him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:10-13 Revised Standard Version

Like many people, I internally translated Paul's words to mean he was happy. But that's not the dictionary definition. The dictionary says content is an adjective meaning: satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

I suppose in a way that is happiness. Here is the dictionary definition for happy: delighted, pleased, or glad; characterized by or indicative of pleasure or contentment; joyful; fortunate or lucky; felicitous; skillful or apt.

The word "contentment" is used in the definition for happy, so I suppose there is a correlation.

I suppose happiness is when one is pleased about what one is not trying to change. Resignation would be the partner with that. Resignation is: to give over without resistance; to give up.

I suppose it's bad to resign. I know others hate it when I do so in a game. But when there is nothing left for me to do, what else can I do but stop and let what happens happen?

That's the way I'm feeling today. Another month is over and things have been set in motion for me to be out of this house within two weeks. For others, this is a time for rejoicing. It's something they can look forward to with joy and gladness. A new hope. For me not so. For me it is the ultimate failure. I was told to do something. I tried to do it. Nothing good happened. I mucked it up. And now I'm tired. Exhausted. I fought and lost. Nothing good happened.

True, it isn't over. But things are in motion now. The sense of absolute failure is overwhelming. It's the story of my life.

For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 Revised Standard Version

But you know, it would be nice to win once in a while. To be right.