Sometimes Faith Has a Price

Faith. When do we have it and when don't we? When do we trust God and when do we give up?

Of course, the simple answer is we always trust God and we never give up. But that is what we're supposed to say and do. How do we really behave?

The truth is, we trust God for our salvation, but when it comes to our daily lives we tend to exclude him. How often have you (I) stood and boldly declared our faith in God - when things were well, or we just received some blessing? Then, when things go dry, and emotions fail us for fear, we abandon faith and try to save ourselves?

It is normal to feel fear. It is normal to face doubts. The greatest born of women suffered his doubts and fears. But how did he handle it?

Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of the Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, "Are you he who is to come, or shall we look for another?" And Jesus answered them, "Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them. And blessed is he who takes no ofense at me." As they went away, Jesus began to speak to the crowds concerning John: "What did you go out into the wilderness to behold? A reed shaken by the wind? Why then did you go out? To see a man clothed in soft raiment? Behold, those who wear soft raiment are in kings' houses. Why then did you go out? To see a prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. This is he of whom it is written, 'Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, who sahall prepare thye way before thee.' Truly I say to you, among those born of women there has risen no one greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he." Matthew 11:2-11 Revised Standard Version

"A reed shaken by the wind." What does that mean? I think it means John was not swayed by his emotions. He didn't just trust God when he felt like it. He trusted God when he had doubts, too. Especially when he had doubts and fear. He sent to Jesus when he had fear. Note Jesus' reply. Instead of just saying "yes", he quotes the Prophet Isaiah, using the verses which prove his being the Messiah, the Christ. Jesus began his ministry by quoting Isaiah.

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good tidings to the afflicted; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor. Isaiah 61:1-2a Revised Standard Version

Jesus did not read the second part of verse two. That speaks of God's wrath and judgment, which is yet to come.

What is easy to do is proclaim we have received a message from God. Any fool can do that, whether God has sent them a message or not. What is hard is trusting in that message when everything seems to indicate that the message is not going to happen. That is hard whether God has sent the message or not.

I am in a place now where I am hard-pressed to find anyone who believes God sent me a message. Current indications are that he did not. Why? Because the message I believe God sent me was not to sell my house when I lost my job seven years ago. So I took it off the market. And for nearly seven years we have remained in this house, often by means which had nothing to do with us. Tax rebate checks from the government. An insurance check after a storm. A sister who borrowed money. During these seven years I have had nearly everyone tell me in one form or another that I was crazy to believe I had received a message from God and that I should sell the house before I lost it. My response has always been: God never said I wouldn't lose the house. He just said, "Don't sell it." So I'm not.

Our personal financial collapse happened at the end of August seven years ago. At the end of August this year we are slated to be kicked out of our house for not meeting financial obligations.

It has not always been easy to believe I got a real message from God. Well, that's not true. It has been easy to believe it. What has not been easy is believing God will take care of us. So many days and nights I vented angrily at God in the lowest level. I asked for signs. For miracles. For anything. What I got was silence. Then, at the last minute, things would happen and we would get another year. This occured for six years. Over the last two my rants have become few and further between. This year no miracle occured, and the foreclosure was processed. We are down to eight weeks.

I am still under pressure to give up believing God intends to take care of us. It's hard to resist. It would be easy to just give up believing. But I can't. I may be insane, and maybe I'm living a delusion, but I trust God. He told me not to sell the house. I can no more be convinced that was a lie than I can be convinced it did not rain this morning. (Thunderstormed, actually.) I believe God spoke to me, and I did not sell the house. And no matter what happens, I will still trust God. God has put himself on the line - using me. How can I do anything else but believe?

After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him. Jesus said to the twelve, "Do you also wish to go away?" Simon Peter answerd him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God." John 6:66-69 Revised Standard Version

Not everyone who trusts in faith gets what they are trusting for in this life. The book of Hebrews confirms this. In the faith chapter, immediately after telling of the wondrous miracles achieved through faith, we are told of those who got nothing.

Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and scourging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword; they went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, ill-treated - of whom the world was not worthy - wandering over deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. And all these, though well attested by their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God has forseen something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect. Hebrews 11:35-39 Revised Standard Version

You see, what I have learned in the past seven years is that faith isn't about getting what we want, or even being cared for in comfort. Faith is about trusting God, even when horrible things happen. Because they do, you know. But God is still in control. God still loves us. That - you can put your faith in.

Amen.

To Be Known For Who We Are

I tend to look for hypocrisy within myself. Generally, I can find it with little effort. But isn't that what we all do? Look or hypocrisy in someone who stands up and speaks about God as loving and forgiving? We don't particularly like to see people achieve when it comes to faith. It's an ugly truth, but the truth is - it is true. We are very jealous of each other, and afraid others are making it while we are falling again and again. Our instincts all tell us that if anyone else can do it, we can. So when we don't we have no one to blame but ourselves. And so we look for fault in others.

My friend, Stephen, knew me better than anyone else, including my family. My brother insists he knows me well, but he's seldom correct when he tries to 'get inside my head'. Even Stephen wasn't right all the time, although he understood me best.

Stephen liked to try and trip me up with silly questions to which the answer had no relevant meaning. Basically, they were the "how many angels do you say can dance on the head of a pin" sort. I remember him tossing out this possibility to me.

Suppose you saw two men drowning. One was a Christian and the other wasn't. Who would you save first?

I found the question stupid and told him so, but he wanted an answer. I gave him a two-part answer. First, I would try to save whoever was closest first. Second, I can't swim well enough to save anyone.

It was only later that I realized that there would be absolutely no way I would know who was a Christian and who wasn't. The best I could do was guess. For just as even Stephen couldn't know all of my heart, neither can I know anyone else's. I can guess based on visible evidence, but I can be wrong. Some phonies are so good at what they do even the wisest servant of God may be fooled. What chance have I against such wiles? And some legitimate servants of God are still quite imperfect. Look at me. I believe I am God's servant, but I am filled with so many faults and such that many look at me and don't see it at all. We never really know.

How many times have you seen close friends and relatives interviewed after someone has committed some horrible atrocity? Usually it's rape, murder, or child molestation. Or even a combination of all three. Friends, siblings, parents, spouses, fiances, children, and others all stand in amazement. This is not the person they knew. And yet it was. They just never saw it. Some will get angry and defensive, as if they feel they are being judged for their lack of sight. In a way they are, but the judgment is hardly fair. We cannot see into each other's hearts. We can only guess.

Moreover, when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with a sad countenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. Matthew 6:16-18 New King James Version

Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, also heard all these things, and they derided Him. And He said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God. Luke 16:14-15 New King James Version

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LOD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward apeparance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 New King James Version

Don Quixote at the Cyber Mill

So I'm giving my go at raising awareness/keeping awareness raised regarding the ill-treatment of women in the world. My go is hardly something to brag about as I'm doing it on a blog no one visits except me. But some day people will come. And when they do I want them to know where I stand on certain issues.

I happen to love women. Always have. Always will, I hope. Yes, and I can hear the taunts. "Oh, yes. You like women all right. [wink, wink]" Well, if that's the way you want to think of me than go right ahead. I really don't give a cr*p anymore. People think what they want to think. And that the problem! People think stupid things. And then they believe them. And then they act accordingly.

Jesus talked about this.

And he called the people to him and said to them "Hear and understand: not what goes into the mouth defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man." Then the disciples came and said to him, "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?" He answered, "Every plant which my heavenly Father has not planted will be rotted up. Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit." But Peter said to him, "Explain the parable to us." And he said, "Are you also still without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach, and so passes on? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a man. For out of the heartcome evil toughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a man; but to eat with unwashed hands doe snot defile a man." Matthew 15:10-20 Revised Standard Version

It's amazing - and frightening sometimes - to realize the insanity some people purport to be truth. People convince themselves of the most malicious lies. And what we do not realize when we cling to hateful beliefs is that we make ourselves tools in the evil purposes of others. In essence, we become accomplices.

I have believed some horrible things in the past. But with the belief was the nagging doubt about the truth of someone else's inferiority and/or my superiority. Getting older has been good to me in the sense that it has provided me with more data, and after analyzing this data I have changed my position 180-degrees on several issues.

That's the thing about data. We can take it in and use it help us maintain and adjust our position on pretty much anything. This is called, Evaluating our Beliefs Based on the Data.

We can also do the opposite. Look at data and see if it conforms to our beliefs, tossing it aside as worthless when it doesnt. This is called, Evaluating Data Based on our Beliefs.

So many Christians, Jews, and Muslims become violently terrified at the prospect of taking in new data. They're just terrified the data will somehow undermine their faith by proving the non-existence of God, or his lack of caring, or the mere randomness of existence.

Guess what, people? Data doesn't do any of that. Do people look at the data and declare God does not exist? God does not care? God is evil? Existence is random? Of course they do. But here this hear it good: they were pre-disposed to come to those conclusions.

How do I know? Because they thought to prove God's existence. Can't be done. And ALL faith-bearing people understand that innately. God set things up so we can only find him through faith. Did that right from the start. We know that data cannot be used to prove God, so why believe it can be used to disprove God? It can't.

Neither can it be used to prove the inferiority of women, other faiths, other skin colors, other anything. If you think otherwise then you are walking against God. God didn't make any two of us the same, but at the same time he made us all equal. I just bought a bag of Braeburn Apples, a bag of Clementine Oranges, and a bag of Seedless Green Grapes. Each individual pieces of fruit is different from all other pieces of fruit. This is true even within a fruit variety. No two apples look the same. Nor do the oranges or grapes.

Yet the grapes all taste pretty much the same. Some are more ripe than others. So with the oranges and apples. Some apples are more crisp, and some oranges reveal themselves better. Each piece is uniquely different.

But no piece of fruit is superior to the others! Not one! When I take fruit for a meal or snack, I am not concerned, for I like ALL of the fruit.

People are like that with God. We are all so different. Even within the same faith, gender, skin color, community, whatever, we are different.

But no human is superior to another! Not one! When God speaks with us he is not concerned about skin color, gender, community, or even our faith - except that it is in Him.

So why do so many hate women? I've met women who hate women. Why? Because we're stupid. We like to believe the lies which tell us we're better than someone else. Anyone else. And after we believe those lies we attack any data (or messenger of data) who dares challenge our belief.

Life would be so much better if so many more of us could just accept our lowly place. I think we could achieve much greater things then.

A friend of mine from long ago had this phrase on a posted in her bedroom. It was by the door so she could see it every time she left her room. Let me see if I can remember how it went. I do not recall the author.

God did not create woman from man's feet, to be trodden underfoot by man.

Neither did God create women from man's head, to be lifted high above him.

God created woman from man's rib, to stand at his side as an equal helpmate.

Woman completes man. She does not dominate him. She is not his slave.