It Can Be Hard

Sometimes it's hard to continue in faith. To believe. I struggle with this more than anything else I know. And not just believing and having faith in God. For me, it's believing and having faith in anything. I'm jaded and cynical. I'm worn out and beaten up. The old vaudeville comedy sketch of the sad clown holds true in my heart so often: "Nothing good ever happens to me."

Sometimes it's hard to believe, and what makes it harder is the constant teaching that we believe what we feel. Our culture is so about feelings. How do we know if we love somebody? We feel good about them. How do we know we hate them? We feel bad toward them. How do we know what's right? We go with our feelings. How do we know we're spiritual? We feel it. How do we trust God? With our feelings.

What a crock! And we all fall for it to some degree or another. Some poor souls are completely lost in this Gospel of Feelings.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all men generously and without reproaching, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways, will receive anything from the Lord. James 1:5-8 Revised Standard Version

Sometimes I have been just like that. I haven't been able to "grab on" and hold. I'm tossed hither and yon by my emotions.

Emotions are powerful things, and if we let them they will rule our lives. Not a good way to live.

My mother used to adhere strongly to the Gospel of Emotions. It was here belief that she the truth was what she was feeling. Thus, when she was happy with us (me) she lavished love and praise. However, let her emotions falter and her tune changed drastically. Suddenly, she "hated" us, and felt no qualms about telling us so. To this day I don't know that she fully understands the faultiness of emotions.

Emotions are like a logic test in which so many people have reversed things. Consider this question, similar to one I took on an intelligence test years ago. I will pick something foremost in a lot of people's thoughts right now.

If all coins are money, then which of the following is true?

• All money is coins
• No money is coins
  
• Some money is coins

The answer, of course, is the last choice, for some money is also paper. But so many people get it wrong and say the first answer is right. Not with money, but with emotions.

If love contains happy feelings then what is true?

• All happy feelings mean love
  
• Some happy feelings mean love
  
• The absence of happy feelings means the absence of love
  

How would you answer that question?

It works true with faith, too. Faith is not how we feel about a thing any more than love is.

Here is how God defines love. (emphasis mine)

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 Revised Standard Version

If you read this carefully, you will not find any stress on feelings. What is stressed are decisions and attitudes. So, if you think you are loving others as God intended, then let me ask you this: what is your opinion on using torture against terrorists? How does that fit into God's definition of love and his commission that we should love everyone as we love ourselves?

Here is what God has to say about faith.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 Revised Standard Version


This is what Merriam-Webster says about assurance.

Main Entry:
as·sur·ance Listen to the pronunciation of assurance
Pronunciation:
\?-'shu?r-?n(t)s\
Function:
noun
Date:
14th century

1: the act or action of assuring: as a: pledge, guarantee b: the act of conveying real property ; also : the instrument by which it is conveyed cchiefly British : insurance 2: the state of being assured: as a: security b: a being certain in the mind assurance of salvation> c: confidence of mind or manner : easy freedom from self-doubt or uncertainty ; also : excessive self-confidence : brashness, presumption 3: something that inspires or tends to inspire confidence assurances of goodwill>

Faith is not a feeling. It is a belief. It is demonstrated through our actions. If we have faith the ice is thick enough to hold our weight, we walk across it. If we do not have this faith, we avoid the ice. Walking across the ice can be one of two things: acting in faith; acting in pride.

Jesus gave this example when he was tempted in the wilderness.

And he (Satan) took him (Jesus) to Jerusalem, and set him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here; for it is written, 'He will give his angels charge of you, to guard you,' and 'On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.'" And Jesus answered him, "It is said, 'You shall not tempt the Lord your God.'" Luke 4:9-12 Revised Standard Version

What does this teach us? That sometimes we have to use our brains and determine what it is we believe and why. Are we acting in faith, fear, or pride? Only faith will keep us right with God. When in doubt, remember to act in love. Love is greater than faith. That you can count on.

So, When Do We Fight

One thing I come across, or am confronted by, on a regular basis when talking/listening to Christians talk is this concept that we need to "get angry". People are advocating laws which go against Biblical teaching. People are trying to remove God from schools, city offices, and anything else they can think of. We need to get "angry". We should be grossly indignant.

Wrong.

The Roman Empire was hardly a godly civilization, and yet that was the civilization in in place where Jesus walked the earth. So what did Jesus have to say about the godless nation in which he lived? I'm only aware of Jesus making one reference to the government.

"Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's". Matthew 22:21 Revised Standard Version

Jesus did not concern himself with the government. He obeyed the government, but he did not try to influence policy. Even when he stood before Pilate he made no arguments. When asked if he is a king.

"My kingship is not of this world; if my kingship were of this world, my servants would fight, that I might not be handed over to the Jews; but my kingship is not from the world." John 19:36 Revised Standard Version

Too often we humans get to thinking God somehow needs our help in matters he has told us to leave alone. God does not need our help. What is more, he does not want us trying to help. Certainly, he does not want us getting angry and acting out in anger.

You have heard that it was said to the men of old, 'You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that every one who is angry with is brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be liable to the hell of fire." Matthew 5:21-22 Revised Standard Version

Personally, I think there are several things going on. Take your choice where you fall, if you are one who is prone to get angry at those who behave other than you think they should.

First, there are people in power who seek to use religion and religious zeal and fervor to further their selfish aims. Get people worked up. Get them afraid. Such people are easy to manipulate, for they are not thinking.

Second, there are people who are worked up and afraid. They desperately want to serve God, but they're afraid they're not doing enough. They're so afraid God is angry with them for not doing enough they are willing to follow any charismatic leader, even if those leaders lead them into anger, hatred, and murder.

Third, there are people who aren't sure they really believe. These people react angrily, and even violently when anything happens which threatens their well-being. They're afraid they can be made to cease believing because they aren't even sure they believe in the first place. These people do not understand what faith is. They think it's how they feel about things. It's what our society teaches. Our preachers don't say it, but so many imply it with the words they use. They keep talking about the senses. Faith has nothing to do with the senses. Faith is a decision. It's an act of will. That's why someone who is completely terrified can act in faith.

Allow me to try and explain.

My son used to be terrified of thunderstorms. He would become so frightened he would physically shake. He wanted to run, but I told him to relax and trust me. I would take him in my arms and he would hang on to me tightly. He trusted me - but he was still afraid. Acting in faith will banish fear - eventually. Just as acting in fear will banish faith - right away. The two are mutually incompatible.

Sometimes, we are like the father who sought Jesus' help when the disciples were not able.

And Jesus said to him, "If you can! All things are possible to him who believes." Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" Mark 9:23-24 Revised Standard Version

Sometimes that's all we have: faith in the midst of fear. Sometimes, to act in faith is to do nothing at all. God is not violence. We are taught from our youth that he is. But God is not violence. Read what happened with Elijah.

And there he came to a cave, and lodge there; and behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" He said, "I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the people of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thy altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away." And he said, "Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind and earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him, sand said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" 1 Kings 19:9-13 Revised Standard Version

We like to say that God is in nature. According to the Holy Scriptures, that is not true. God is not in earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, firestorms, and other forms of destruction. God is quiet and gentle. Those other things are tools in God's hands. They are not God.

Do not fear because there are powerful elements seeking to remove God from existence. They cannot succeed. For one thing, as long as you believe God will have people here. Right? So you keep believing. Do you not understand that NO ONE can make anyone believe - or not believe - in God? Only the Holy Spirit can touch someone's heart.

So the Jews gathered round him and said to him, "How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly." Jesus answered them, "I told you, and yo do not believe. The works that I do in my Father's name, they bear witness to me; but you do not believe, because you do not belong to my sheep. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me; and I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of my hand." (emphasis mine) John 10:24-28 Revised Standard Version

No matter what happens, you cannot be made to not believe. So do not fret over what others are doing. Just continue believing. Do not get angry. That only confirms in the minds of others that you are a hypocrite. And it takes away your reward in heaven.

Keep the faith. Keep the peace. Let God deal with those who would try to get rid of him.

PSALM 2

[1] Why do the nations conspire, and the peoples plot in vain?

[2] The kings of the earth set themselves, and teh rulers take counsel together, against the Lord and his anointed, saying,

[3] "Let us burst their bonds asunder, and cast their cords from us."

[4] He who sits in the heavens laughs; the Lord has them in derision.

[5] Then he will speak to them in his wrath, and terrify them in his fury, saying,

[6] "I have set my king on Zion, my holy hill."

What is God's Will

"I have said all of this to you to keep you from falling away. They will put you out of the synagogues; indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God." John 16:1-2 Revised Standard Version

What a horrible thought. To commit crimes against God and believe we are acting in God's interests. And yet it goes on every day. We read and hear about it over the news.

A man kills an abortion doctor. Bombs are exploded. People beheaded. Shots fired. All in the name of pleasing God. And yet God is not pleased at all.

Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, says the Lord God, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live? Ezekiel 18:23 Revised Standard Version

"For I have no pleasure in the death of any one," says the Lord God; "so turn, and live." Ezekiel 18:32 Revised Standard Version

Sometimes it is hard to know what God would have us do. Sometimes it's easy. Generally, it gets harder when we allow our own desires to get in our way. It's hard to get quiet before God. But it's what needs to be done in order to communicate well with him.

And he said, "Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice to him, and said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" 1 Kings 19:9-13 Revised Standard Version

Where was God? In the quiet. Using the earth, and the things of earth and space, God can wreck tremendous violence. But God is a quiet spirit. He speaks to us quietly and persistently, seeking our attention via our will, not our senses.

Remember, God is love. That should be our starting point in determining God's will.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; a good understanding have all those who practice it. His praise endures for ever! Psalm 111:10 Revised Standard Version

When is Love Over

Genesis Chapter One (New King James Version)

[1] In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

[2] The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

[3] Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light.

[4] And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.

There are a couple of things which come to my mind every time I read these verses. The first goes back to the first time I read them, as a child. Read the first two sentences again. Does anything strike you as strange?

Well, maybe strange is the wrong word. But think about this. When you create something, whether of clay, machinery, Lego Blocks, or whatever, do you create it without form and void? Who does that?

And when you read the third sentence another thing becomes obvious: before God created light, the earth existed. So did water. And darkness.

These things have mattered to me since I was a child. The most likely answer has been one that a lot of Christians are loth to accept: God did not create the earth in seven days. He fixed it in seven days.

The earth was here, but destroyed, when God said, "Let there be light." He had created the earth, and all of the universe around it. Then, something happened. "The earth was without form, and void." The most likely cause of this destruction was the fall of Lucifer from grace. When he turned to evil he destroyed everything around himself, including the earth, which apparently had been his place. Then, like a good mechanic and auto body specialist, God took the damaged remains and rebuilt the earth, filling it again with life, but this time adding new elements, such as grass, and human beings. He also seems to have given it a timetable to a predetermined end, after which he will take it all apart and rebuild it from scratch.

A few years ago I discovered a website devoted to this concept. It is here, if you wish to check it out for yourself.

But what about Lucifer? We call him Satan. The Devil. He has a host of other unpleasant names, all of which he has earned. But what about him? What is God's attitude toward him?

I will give you my belief up front, and then present a few reasons why I believe it. Whether you accept my thinking as rationale, stupid, or heresy, I'll leave to you.

I think God loves him. I really do.

Why? How?

Well, first off, is not God love? Certainly, what come from God is love.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 New King James Version

Another point, and this comes from Genesis 1:4, where God looks at the light he has just created and sees it as "good". God did not create anything, or anyone, "evil", or "bad". Why would he? Consider these verses, written by the Prophet Ezekiel. They are agreed to be written about Lucifer himself.

..You were the seal of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty...You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, till iniquity was found in you. (see Ezekiel 28:12-19)

Satan was not created evil. He became evil. So, if he was not created evil, is it not reasonable to believe God loved him? Why would he not love someone who was so perfect? He loves us, and we're far from perfect.

But God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 New King James Version

So God must have loved Lucifer. Now, let's read what God says about love.

1 Corinthians Chapter 13 (New King James Version)

[4] Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

[5] does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

[6] does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

[7] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

[8] Love never fails.

If God ever loved Lucifer, and love never fails, then God still has to love him. That just makes sense.

So why bring this up?

Because of something someone once said to me. She could not accept that God would ever send anyone to hell. It was beyond her to comprehend how a loving God could condemn someone to hell, despite what the Holy Scriptures say.

Well, do we not all agree that the Lake of Fire is exactly where Satan and the demons are going? And is it not true that Satan is Lucifer, turned to evil? And is it not true that Lucifer was once perfect and holy before God? And did not God love him? And does not love continue forever? And is not God sending a being (and others) into hell who he loves?

So why not us?

It's a matter of progressive logic, people. But the people, demons, and whatever who wind up in the Lake of Fire wind up there because they have rejected the true God of the universe.

Romans Chapter One (New King James Version)

[18] For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness,

[19] because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them.

[20] For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,

[21] because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

[22] Professing to be wise, they became fools,

[23] and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man - and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.

[24] Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves,

[25] who exchanged the truth of God for hte lie, and worshiped and served the creatrue rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

It doesn't have to be that way. We just need to seek the real God the God of the universe.

Matthew Seven (New King James Version)

[7] Ask, and it will be given t oyou; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

[8] For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

[9] Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

[10] Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?

[11] if you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things t othose who ask Him!

[12] Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Murder is Not the Way of God

Was checking one of my email accounts on Yahoo and saw a link to a disturbing news story.

Abortion doc George Tiller Gunned Down at Church.

Now, to be honest, I'm not all that thrilled about people having abortions for reasons other than health but, guess what? It's the law of the land. That means it's legal people. You don't like it? Then ask the government to change it. They won't? Then live with it. And let others live with doing it!

The people who have been sinned against with this one hateful act are manifest.

There is George Tiller himself. Murdered.

There is his family, some of who probably witnessed it. There are the people who were in attendance at the church. There is society itself. And let's not forget God, which the murderer so clearly did. God is not happy when anybody commits murder. And doing it in His name doesn't make it any better.

Writtenwyrdd recently posted on her blog about banning books. (She's against it, by the way.) The general feeling of those who commented was that people who are in favor of such fascist thinking are people who do not live the faith they purport to support. And they're right.

Consider Jesus. Just yesterday I read in John 8 how religious hypocrites brought a woman caught in adultery to Jesus for judgment. This is the account.

Early in the morning he (Jesus) came again to the temple; all the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery (where was the man?) and placing her in the midst they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such. What do you say about her?" This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the eldest, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus looked up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and do not sin again." (parentetical pieces mine) John 8:2-11 Revised Standard Version

If you would follow Jesus - follow God - then act toward people in LOVE. Jesus did not condemn people, so you don't condemn people. Jesus accepted people for who they were/are. So you accept people - for who they are. Do they sin? Sure, they do. But guess what? So do you. And do you know what? Your sins, though hidden, might actually be worse.

Be careful about associating with those who speak hatred toward "those who sin". They are speaking against you, you know. Is that what you really want to be like? Is that how you wish to be judged? Had this man who committed this murder truly been thinking of God, and what God wants, and how God judges, I do not believe he would have done this deed. Is this how he wishes to be treated?

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give wil lbe the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eyes? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Matthew 7:1-5 Revised Standard Version

The message is clear. Why is it we so quickly forget it? And now a man is dead.

Who and What Should We Fear

So much of our human cultures are built on fear. We're afraid of this, that, and a host of other things.

Here is a partial list of things we fear:

• Losing our job/finances
  
• Losing a loved one
  
• Losing health
  
• Being attacked/terrorism/mugging/rape/murder
  
• Having our faith corrupted
  
• Gay/Lesbian/Bi-sexual/Transgender people
  
• Religious fanatics
  
• Religious intolerants
  
• Pollution
  
• Governments
  

This is just a very small list, and a good number of them are valid fears. But what does God have to say about all of this fear?

I just finished going through my concordance. What I found were 284 command references to us - from God - regarding fear.

At least 112 times God tells us to NOT FEAR. This is done a LOT when prophetic events are described. Twenty-six of those admonitions occur in the New Testament. Many from Jesus' own mouth. The very first admonition about fear is to NOT.

After these things the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision, saying, "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward." Genesis 15:1 New King James Version

In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus talks about what things will be like in the years shortly preceding his return.

And there will be signs in the sun, in the moon, and in the stars; and on the earth distress of nations, with perplexity, the sea and the waves roaring; men's hearts failing them from fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken.(emphasis mine) Luke 21:25-26 New King James Version

When we, who claim to trust God, are afraid of these things - and I am guilty like everyone else - what we are really saying is that we do NOT trust God. If we did, we would not be afraid, because God has already told us to calm down and not be afraid. Not of these things anyway.

There is something we should fear. God tells us this no less than 172 times: 21 times in the New Testament. What is it that we should fear?

God.

If we fear God - if we trust Him - we will be less and less disposed to act out violently and irrationally against those who frighen us. For they will not frighten us anymore.

We become afraid because we become so bound to and caught up in this world that we forget this is but a short time in our existence. ALL of us are going to live forever. The question is: Where?

Do not hinder your chances of living with God by focusing on your fears - especially when those fears drive you to inflict pain, hardship, harassment, and even death to others. Focus on God. Do not be concerned about what other people are doing. It cannot happen unless God allows it. Speak out. Be heard. Make your opinions known. But do so in love and tenderness. Not hatred, fear, and violence. And trust God to keep things under control no matter how things play out.

Breaking the Chain of Hatred

Just did something for which I suppose I should feel some sense of pride about. Only I don't.

I was forwarded an email this morning. Didn't pay attention to who originated it. I only concerned myself with the person who passed it on to me.

The email references an alleged email sent by an engineering professor at Michigan State University to the Muslim Students' Association. In it, the professor complains about the protests against a Danish cartoon which portrayed the Prophet Muhammed as a terrorist. He goes on to complain about beheadings, suicide bombings, rapes, and other atrocities. He concludes by telling the Muslims to leave the country.

Now, my personal opinion is that ALL protests are stupid and useless. They're events designed to make people feel good about something, and bad about something else. They're for the powerless to feel like they're powerful. They can also turn into riots, in which the powerless become dangerously powerful.

That Muslims protested the cartoon means nothing to me. Neither do protests against nuclear power, taxes, gay rights, abortion rights, something stupid somebody said, or anything mean anything to me. I am not impressed with protests. A waste of time.

I was concerned, however, with the email's hateful sentiment. In the past I should have ignored it, filing it away with other emails. This time I felt obliged to speak out and sent a return email explaining why I believed the email was not only hateful, but went against everything Jesus taught. God does not want his creation fighting with itself. And as to complaining about the behavior of Muslims, I found myself complaining about the behavior of fellow Christians. For every atrocity committed in the name of Islam there has been an atrocity committed in the name of Christianity. We are not without our own guilt.

I sent the email and soon received a response. The person was thankful for being reminded of what is true and what is right. Perhaps they are through forwarding such hatred. I hope so. Perhaps one day they will respond to whoever sends them the emails and another link in the chain of hatred will be broken. But I am not pleased with myself.

The world is so full of hatred and strife. It spills out like water being poured from a bucket. When it strikes the hard pavement it splashes, reaching even those who want nothing to do with it. Without realizing it, we who wish to be like God find ourselves sullied by petty jealousies, hatreds, and the like. We begin to criticize those who do no worse than ourselves. Our eyes go blind to our own sins and we worsen ourselves by embracing powerful emotions of violence and hatred.

I can pretend to others, and perhaps they may even be fooled. But I cannot truly fool myself. In my heart of hearts I know I am no better than those I try to correct. And certainly God knows the truth.

Romans (chapter seven) Revised Standard Version

[7] When then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet, if it had not been for the law, I should not have known sin. I should not have knwn what it is to covet if the law had not said, "You shall not covet."

[8] But sin, finding opportunity in the commandment, wrought in me all kinds of covetousness. Apart from the law sin lies dead.

[9] I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin revived and I died;

[10] the very commandment which promised life proved to be death to me.

[11] For sink, finding opportunity in the commandment, deceived me and by it killed me.

[12] So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and just and good.

[13] Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, working death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure.

[14] We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold under sin.

[15] I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

[16] Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good.

[17] So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me.

[18] For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it.

[19] For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.

[20] Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me.

...

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

Hurting People

I tend to be of the self-pitying sort. That's nothing to be proud of, of course. It's just true. I look at my life, the mistakes I've made, the things which just haven't worked out, and I feel bad about how things are. Even so, I understand that a good number of the things that I'm unhappy about are, in fact, my own doing.

A lot of misery is our own doing. It's called sowing and reaping. I waste my money and then have nothing to fall back on in times of crises. I quit exercising and eat heavy meals, so I got fat. I'm fat, so I have poor health. These are things I could have prevented before they even happened. They're my fault.

The world's financial collapse is not my fault, however. It was not my fault my company was sold, nor that the new ownership decided to dump half the staff. Floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, and earthquakes are not my fault. A lot of misery just happens.

Misery comes to so many people. When I was completely separated from other people my feelings of self-pity grew. Now, having met so many people on-line, I have come to realize that I hardly have a monopoly on suffering. In fact, there are untold numbers who would just love to trade problems with me. I have my spouse and my son. They are neither sick, dying, or gone. I have met people on-line who can no longer say that.

I have met people who are in danger of having their marriage revoked. Nothing I have to deal with. Yet.

There are people with such broken hearts it makes me seem cheerful on my worst day.

There are people who think so little of themselves they make me seem a tower of strength and confidence.

Hurting people. All around the world. I feel for them. It's made all the worse in that there is so so little I can do. All I know to do is love them. Care about them. Really care, I mean. Not this phoney, yeah I care, now get lost kind of thing. I have cried over some. But I can't help. I've no money for those who need that. I cannot raise the dead nor heal the sick. I cannot make anyone other than myself love another person. I am nearly helpless.

All I can think to do is point. Not a finger of condemnation and destruction, but of hope and inner release. I point to God, who I call Jesus. I realize most people do not like the idea that Jesus is God. They use a different name. That is fine. There is only one God. What we call him is less important than that we acknowledge him. The real him, and not a figment of our imagination.

Matthew (chapter eleven) New King James Version

[27] All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the ones to whom the Son wills to reveal Him.

[28] Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

[29] Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

[30] For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

If you are troubled in heart, seek out God. The real God. Call him by whatever name you will. Just ask him if he will come talk with you, and live in your heart. Then begin to read God's holy word. You will find him.

Matthew (chapter seven) New King James Version

[7] Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knowck, and it will be opened to you.

[8] For everyone who asks receives, adn he who seeks finds, adn to him to knocks it ill be opened.

[9] Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

[10] Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?

[11] If you then, being evil, know how to give good gives to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

[12] Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the law and the Prophets.

Look for the answer. God always answers, but often in ways we do not understand until a lot of time has passed. So don't go thinking God has ignored you. More likely, you have not been paying attention to God. Don't presume to know how God will answer your prayer. Just know that he will.

It's Easy to Say Anything

What is prayer but talking to God? But do you admit that sometimes it is easier to talk about talking with God than it is to actually talk to him? It is easier to tell others to talk with God than to talk with him ourselves? How easy it is to be a hypocrite.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners complete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Well, I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as one beating the air; but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 Revised Standard Version

Preaching to others but failing to practice what one preaches. I suppose at times we are all guilty of it. And in today's modern world of fast communication it becomes nigh impossible for public figures to hide any of their hypocrisy. I confess mine, sometimes, because I need the reminders of my imperfections. I need the reminder that I am not a lesbian, so that when I speak (write) with my lesbian friends I am aware that seemingly nothing phrases to me may stir feelings of condescension, resentment, abandonment, judgment, or something else. The same is true when I speak with any woman, or Muslims, or Jews, or some other group to which I have not ever belonged.

I struggle with myself. Where I am in my life, and what I am before God. Where am I going, and why? Who am I really? Why is it that I, a man, should find myself so identifying with women who call themselves lesbians? Why do I ache more for their heartaches, their rejections, their obstacles, than those of others who are "more like me"? I don't understand it, but my caring is real. They are real.

And no two are the same. I think that can be the beautify of meeting new people, be they lesbian, Christian, Mormon, Muslim, Athiest, black, white, Australian, Egyptian, Iranian, or whatever. There are so many things which are common to all of us. We share a lot of the same fears and hurts, no matter where in this world we live, or what we look like, or how we make our way. And yet despite all of this commonality, no two of us are the same. When you think of all of the billions of people on this plant that's quite impressive. Far more than the snowflake theory. Even the hairs on our heads are numbered.

I don't read my Bible everyday. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I forget and then remember later, but still choose not to read it. Sometimes I do. Did read it this morning. Read in Luke about "rendering to Caesar the things that are Caesar, and to God the things that are God's". Read about hypocrisy, too. Christ made frequent warnings about hypocrisy. Probably because it is so easy to fall into. It's almost like walking down an old country road. You really can't do it without getting dust on your feet.

When I was young and first walking life as a Christian I marved at the Apostle Paul. He he such a wonderful relationship with God. He knew so many things. But in growing older I think I have learned something about "praying without ceasing". What it means.

There is formal prayer, often done on the knees or in some other position demonstrating humility before God's majesty. Then there is desperate prayer, when time is of the essence and the heart is crying out for help. There is casual prayer, when the conversation with God is about everyday things. And then there is communal prayer. This is difficult to describe, but sometimes I feel it is what I have with God. It's just the awareness that he is there. There is no need to bow in reverence, or cry out for deliverance, or request this or that, or even talk at all. Just an awareness that he is there. Sometimes I don't talk to my spouse or son, but am comforted by the fact I know they are here. And when they speak to me I hear right off. (Usually.) I think that's praying without ceasing. Keeping God conscious in our thoughts.

Perhaps if we were to all work on doing that we would be less concerned with criticizing women who wish to marry a woman, or hating someone for raising taxes, cutting benefits, or calling God by a name we do not use. Perhaps, if we were to keep God's presence in our lives, we would find ourselves loving more people than we have ever loved before. We might not understand why we love these people, but we would most definitely be happier for it.

There are so many wonderful people to get to know. It's going to take an eternity just to make our introductions.

Where are You Beautiful

I subscribe on YouTube to the communitychannel. That's where I watch videos posted by a young woman named Natalie from Australia. What I like about her films is the way she takes everyday things and expands them to show us how funny we all are.

This particular video is about another group of people who deserve to have someone look out for them. I happen to belong to this group. "Ugly" people.



She did this to be funny, but I kind of think she was also making a point. She has two comments which I find so revealing about our societies:

"There's something really surprising about someone ugly being able to do anything."

"You sound like an attractive person."

Isn't that often how we tend to look at people? "Attractive" people get listened to. They get promotions. They get all kinds of things "ugly" people don't get. And yet, are they attractive?

Some are. Incredibly, there are many people who have the physical attributes to qualify them as "attractive" and are still attractive people. By that I mean nice. Loving. Caring. Too often, though, they tend to be a bit arrogant.

I recently told someone that one of the sexiest women I ever met was over one hundred pounds overweight. But she was such a dear. She would go out of her way to help even people she didn't like. She was sensitive, caring, and totally loving. And yet people made fun of her because of her weight. More than once I had to close our office door while she cried because some insensitive clod had made fun of her appearance. Personally, I found her to be quite sexy.

The other day while driving to an appointment with my heart doctor I was listening to the radio. The DJs were interviewing a woman who specialized in relationship training for lesbians. After the interview concluded the male DJs began making fun of the women who availed themselves of the new law in Iowa which allows them to marry women. They made several snide remarks about how "ugly" the women were. I very much doubt the women found each other "ugly" at all.

And do you know something else? I'm finding that I look less at the "shell" people are wearing when I first meet them now. So many people are so beautiful inside a shell which dares us to look for them. My shell is not exactly something people fall over to look at, so I suppose it's only natural that I take this attitude. But I think we need to start seeing people as God sees them, and not as humans do. The eyes of our body don't see nearly so well as the Spirit of God. Let's let Him guide our vision. Okay?

Where are you beautiful? Outside but not inside? Inside by not outside? Both? Neither? If you're not pretty on the inside, go talk to God. He can - and will - change that for you.

Well-Meaning, But Still Wrong

A couple of days ago I wrote that several of my on-line friends are lesbian, or bi-sexual. I suppose I must have been feeling a bit self-exalted for "being so compassionate". What a sickening thing for me to write, but I bet that's how I came across. And I was put in my place not long after. And it served me right.

Thinking to write something wonderful, understanding, and totally wise to one of my lesbian friends I instead wrote something, awful, insensitive, and completely stupid. She was kind enough to let me know without expressing her true indignation over my complete lack of understanding.

I felt like crying. I really did. It just brings home how difficult it is to completely understand someone's pain when you don't base your understanding on a close enough pain. If you've never suffered the death of someone you love dearly it is difficult for you to wholly empathize with someone who has. You can draw upon the loneliness and hurt about being rejected, or some other hurt, but it isn't the same as losing someone you love.

I have never had anyone pass a law stating I cannot marry someone I love. No one is trying to pass such a law. Now.

There are laws, in 46 of our 50 states, which state lesbians cannot marry the women they love. In California, the law was changed so they can. Now there is a strong movement to get the law changed back, nullifying the marriages which have already taken place. Real people, some of them my friends, are having to deal with this. Their stomachs are knotted with fear. How awful to know that there are people who are seeking to make your marriage illegal. It's happening.

What shames me is that the gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender community is not really mistaken about how they perceive the Christian community. The Christian community has become so exclusive it's like some horrible country club where only the very rich can be members. It certainly isn't the rich who are joining this club. The very stupid. The very very stupid. I am ashamed to be part of it.

Why? Because these "conservatives" stick up for the Bible?

No. Because they don't stick up for the Bible, but they have convinced themselves and most everyone else they do. People who spout hatred for others, and make no mistake, these people hate the gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender community, don't know anything about God. I'm not even sure they all believe he exists.

Listen to what the Apostle John wrote. John was the Beloved Apostle. The only one God spared from martyrdom.

First John (chapter two) New King James Version

[3] Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments.

[4] He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

[5] But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.

[6] He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.

[7] Brethren, I write no new commandment to you, but an old commandment which you have had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word which you heard from the beginning.

[8] Again, a new commandment I write to you, which thing is true in Him and in you, because the darkness is passing away, and the true light is already shining.

[9] He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now.

[10] He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him.

[11] But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

And who are our brothers? Read the story of the Good Samaritan.

I wish I understood my friends' pains and fears. If it were possible, I should become a lesbian in order to understand. Then I wouldn't speak foolishness and insensitivity when I only wish to encourage and uplift.

Confessions of a Reformed Hypocrite

I wonder about myself. A lot. There is no doubt in my mind and heart that should most Christians see my life as it really is, in my home, every day, my thoughts and such, they would probably wonder if I even am a Christian.

Well, if being a Christian means thinking thoughts they say I should think, and doing things they say I should do, and not doing things they say I should avoid, then I'm not. Used to be. Kind of.

When I existed in my cloister of like-minded creatures it was easy to see everything and know everything. But I slipped and fell, and in so doing left that cloister and found myself in the real world, where real people live with real problems. People have real feelings. Their hurts are no less real than my own, and often are more so.

One of my very dearest friends (whom I have never met) was hurt recently. It's been a long time (to me) since I've heard from her. I'm fearing now that I will never hear from her again. That is such a lonely feeling, despite the fact I have other friends. It brings home the parable of the lost sheep and coin.

Matthew (chapter eighteen) New King James Version

[12] What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying?

[13] And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray.

My friend has not "gone astray". She's just gone. From me. But I have no doubt she continues to live an honorable and happy life with her family, as she did before. I just miss her.

These are the kinds of things I became exposed to when I left my cloister. I fell in love with people I used to think I should not fall in love with. I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about love. Loving someone from the heart and not wishing to possess them. Only seeking their happiness and good will. I've met so many people like that. Most are women, yes. But that's just because I relate better to women. But there are men within my circle of influence.

Several of my friends happen to be lesbian, or bi-sexual. This, I know, would cause great consternation from my old cloister friends, who do not seek me out, by the way. Not since I fell. I suppose they always had their doubts about me anyway. I wonder about me, too.

But I can't bring myself to criticize gay people anymore. I've met too many now to return to what was. No longer do I view them as "those people", and talk about them as though they were characters from a novel and therefore had no feelings or spirits to concern. Now they're my people, because I call them friends. I don't know them well, but I know them. And when they cry because people stand in hatred against them and say they can't be married to the person they love, I find myself crying with them. I find myself wishing I were a lesbian so I could stand with them, arm in arm, and cry together that there is nothing wrong with love! I see their love for each other and I am ashamed of things I said a long time ago.

How can I, having spoken against real people, claim to be in God's blessing? I read from Luke this morning. It was the passage about the Pharisee and the publican. I read it and find myself wondering which man I really am.

Luke (chapter 18) Revised Standard Version

[9] He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and despised others:

[10] "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.

[11] The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, 'God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.

[12] I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.'

[13] But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me a sinner!'

[14] I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other, for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

I know which man I should be, but am I really that man? Or am I deluding myself with false humility?

What I have found in going on-line and meeting all of these people, is that I care about them. I get to know them and they matter to me. And the more people matter to me the less I find I can speak judgment over things they might be doing. For one thing, I am seeing my life as far worse than anything I can accuse others of. And I don't want to accuse others of anything. Not anymore. They're my friends now, and I love my friends. I want to make their lives better. Not by telling them what to do and not do and how to live their lives. But instead by just accepting them for who they are today, and not worry about the rest. I just want to love them, and hope that that makes their lives better. At least a little.

And when I lose them, it hurts. It hurts so very bad. And it's lonely. Too many friends are silent. And one may be gone forever now.

"Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" Mark 15:34 (a portion) Revised Standard Version

The words of Jesus when he was rejected by God.

It's not too unlike that to lose a friend. The Cloister will call that blasphemy.

So How Do You Wish to be Treated

So many of us struggle with what is right and what is wrong. What is God's will in this situation? We know someone is committing sin. What do we do? What should be our attitude toward them? What does God say?

Believe it or not, the answer is actually quite simple, and God gives us the answer in plain words. And when you consider God, and what we know and understand about him, it makes such perfect sense.

Luke (chapter 10) New King James Version

[25] And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, "Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"

[26] He said to him, "What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?"

[27] So he answered and said, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,' and 'your neighbor as yourself.'"

[28] And He said to him, "You have answered rightly; do this and you will live."

Of course, the lawyer then seeks a way out of this by asking who is neighbor is. Jesus then tells the story of the Good Samaritan.

Since God has placed us in a such a small place in the universe He considered us all to be neighbors. This is true. Do we not tend to view people in other towns and villages as a single entity? They are neighbors, despite the fact that many of them never meet each other. To us, this planet Earth is a large thing. But in consideration of the vast universe, it's hardly a street in a suburb. We are neighbors.

So. Back to our original questions.

We know someone is committing sin. What do we do? What should be our attitude toward them? What does God say?

Well, God says we are all neighbors. Even those on the complete opposite side of this planet. Even those who hate us and want to kill us. We are neighbors.

Next. What should be our attitude toward them? Well, what would we want their attitude to be toward us were our positions reversed? Be honest. For this reason:

Matthew (chapter 7) New King James Version

[1] "Judge not, that you be not judged.

[2] For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."

Finally, what should we do? Again, what would we want others to do were our positions reversed? And answer intelligently. Would you really want them to encourage you in your sin? Would you want them to help you guarantee eternal separation from God? If so, then that's what you do. If not, then look for ways to encourage them to cease sinning. But be careful. God, himself, allows freedom of choice. Don't take that from people unless what they are doing is endangering lives.

It's easy for me to write all of this. It's easy for me to say. The truth is, it's not always easy to follow this practice. That does not excuse the not following, but it is difficult sometimes. It comes down to this: What's important to you? God? Love? If so, then look to God and love when making these decisions. That's all I'm saying.

Failing Voice

Not doing even a mediocre job of being a consistent and sound voice in the cause of women's rights, gay rights, faith rights, or any other rights for that matter.

Pity.

I guess my problem is that instead of focusing on the problem spoken of in the news, I look at how things are operating in my country and see the same thing on our horizon. My suspicion is that similar activities are going on here that get reported from other countries.

Christianity is my "religion", but I don't adhere to it so much. For me, my life has become more about faith than religion. It has changed since 1975, when I gave my life to God - to Jesus. Or maybe I have changed. Or maybe I have just become more aware. Or maybe some of everything.

Back in 1975 I began my Christian walk by attending a Baptist church in a northern suburb of Minneapolis. It was far enough away that we in that community were not considered "city people". But to relatives up north we were.

The church was a small one, with an official congregation of less than 250, but seldom were there ever more than 150 there. In summer it could drop as low as 50.

The pastor was a wise man, if not a great preacher. But he preached the Truth. He preached God, God's love, and God's forgiveness. Although a conservative group (we were aligned with the Southern Baptists), I don't recall any preaching against anyone. Sin was sin, and it was condemned, but I don't recall Pastor M ever saying, publicly from the pulpit, or privately afterward, that any group of people was inferior, condemned, or any other derogatory word. He wasn't into that. Pastor M spoke of getting to know God and letting God change our lives.

I didn't notice the church cliques, but I expect they were there. That is just normal behavior for normal people. But I was young and enthusiastic. I got involved in a few things, but mostly I was afraid to do much. Although I wanted to do 'great things', I knew I was not qualified.

I guess I was in my own personal cloister, shut off from what the real world was like. Every day I hoped the end of the world would come so I could go to heaven. The idea of the horrible destruction spoke of in Revelation meant only that the end had come. The thought that real people would be suffering was outside my comprehension.

Fast forward to the present.

Preaching seems to have changed. We have two methods going, and I don't think either of them are any good at all.

On the one hand we have the Social Liberal Preachers, who don't seem to believe anything about God at all. Their god does not appear to be a real person, but rather a set of social ideas. The problem I see with this is there is no God behind it to fuel it with His Spirit.

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of stress. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, inhuman, implacable, slanderers, profligates, fierce, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding the form of religion but denying the power of it. Avoid such people. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 Revised Standard Version

For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own likings, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander into myths. 2 Timothy 4:3-4 Revised Standard Version

The other kind of preaching is the Intolerant, Self-Righteous Kind. This is the "we versus them" thing. "We" are good. Blessed by God. "They" are sinners, going to hell.

Jesus spoke against this all through his ministry. Just yesterday I posted this from Luke, Chapter Eighteen:

[9] He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and despised others:

[10] "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.

[11] The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, 'God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.

[12] I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.'

[13] But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me a sinner!'

[14] I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Of the two I guess I lean more toward the social side than the condemnation. That does not put me in good standing with conservative Christians. But I can't bring myself to say sin is not sin (although the conservatives argue that I do, in fact, say that by not speaking out against it), which does not put me in good standing with liberals.

I worry about myself. Am I a hypocrite? Have I 'left my first love'? To listen to some talk, the answer to both questions is 'Yes'. They may be right. I can't argue. For me, it's all about God's forgiveness. I am counting on the forgiveness given through Christ Jesus. I won't argue about other ways.

Right or wrong, my message is about as basic as it can be: God loves each of us because we are us. He accepts us as we are today - complete with our sins. He forgives us. He wants us to get to know him because he knows that in so doing, we will cease to sin - in time. (An important point the ultra conservatives fail to consider.)

While that stance seems to imply a lot of things a lot of people don't care to hear, I will only say this: Who am I to not accept someone God accepts? Who am I to criticize one person's love for another? Who am I to say they should be tore apart? Who am I to judge anyone? I don't want to be judged, so I dare not judge others.

I'm not going to waste my time, or others' time, by ranting about how they're doing this or that wrong, and that God isn't happy with them. Instead, I will tell them that God loves them, and despite what the ultra conservatives preach, God very much will accept them.

There is a song, played and sung at the end of Billy Graham rallies which expresses this:

Just as I am, without one plea
but that thy blood was shed for me
and that thou bidst me come to thee
O Lamb of God, I come, I come

That's my message, too. I realize this song is specifically referring to Jesus, but don't worry about that now. Don't say Jesus, then. Just say God, or whatever name you know him by. If you honestly search for him, you will find him. He wants to be found.

Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8 Revised Standard Version

That's what it's talking about. Finding God.

A Tragedy That May Soon Visit Our Neighborhood

Saw this link to a news article this morning. It's about the killing of a young man and woman in Afghanistan who were trying to run off to Iran and get married. The parents had sent other villagers to intercept them and bring them back. Once back in their home village, the couple were either turned over to the Taliban by their parents, or forcibly taken from their homes. It is not known which.

The woman, 19, and the man, 21, were accused by the militants of immoral acts, and a council of conservative clerics decided that the two should be killed, said Ghulam Dastagir Azad, the governor of the southwestern province of Nimroz.

I realize some will read this story, or hear about it on the news, and see it as justification for all sorts of discriminative words and actions. I do not. Is the Taliban a dangerous organization, especially to its own people? Yes. I think so. But the Taliban are not indicative of all the people, nor of the culture in general. Still, they do remind me of another group, here in Western Culture. The Religious Right.

It doesn't take long for freedoms to be lost, taken, or given away. Especially when skilled manipulators use religion as the enticement and/or threat.

The Religious Right would take away, or at least deny, the rights of American Citizens in America. Simply because they say God doesn't like what these "others" are doing. God may not like it. In some cases, I'm sure he doesn't. But you know what? He's not that keen on most of what we do on this planet. And that includes myself and the Religious Right. (I hate that name, but I refuse to call them Christians.)

Legislating morality is one of the worst crimes any people can impose on another. It has been tried over and over and over again in human history, and every time it fails. Why? Because each culture sees morality through its own eyes and interprets it differently. The culture of the Taliban is incredibly harsh, especially against women. But the culture of the Religious Right is no less intolerant.

You may argue that the Religious Right does not take people out and shoot them. I will argue back that the only reason they don't is because they can't. If they had the power, they would be executing gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, transgenders, liberals, and who knows how many others? Basically, anyone who violated their idea of right and wrong.

They claim they represent God. Well, guess what? So does the Taliban. Neither do.

"Say to them: 'As I live,' says the Lord God, 'I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways! For why should you die, O house of Israel?'" Ezekiel 33:11 New King James Version

If you think someone is wrong. If you think they have fallen away from God. If you think they are wicked and evil. Don't think you please God by ending their life. If you wish to please God then encourage these people you believe to be wicked into following God.

Too often we think to do God's work for him. There is work, which is God's work, which he has delegated to us. Telling others about God. Showing God's love through our own actions. There is other work of God which he has not given us. Mainly because we are so incompetent in doing it. One of these works is punishment of the wicked.

Vengeance is Mine, and recompense: Their foot shall slip in due time; For the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things to come hasten upon them. For the Lord will judge His people and have compassion on his servants, when He sees that their power is gone, and there is no one remaining bond or free." Deuteronomy 32:35-36 New King James Version

Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and long suffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? Romans 2:1-4 New King James Version

When we choose to punish for God, instead of letting him handle things, we interfere with this goodness, forbearance, and long suffering, and so interrupt others' walk to repentance. And since we have already read that God does not rejoice in the death of the wicked, but would rather that all come to repentance, we have only displeased God and risk his judgment upon ourselves.

None of this will help the young man and woman referred to in the article. They are dead. Freed from the cares of the world. Those of us left behind are at risk, however. For with every act such as this one, it becomes easier to repeat it again there - and someday, here.

Let us be on guard against ourselves. We are a terrible threat.

Picking Up the Fallen Flag of Inspiration

Unfortunately, I am hardly the one to be doing this. I am neither a woman nor a confessor of the Muslim faith. I am an old, fat, Christian male.

But the flag has been set down for a time, leaving a gap in the voice for decency and equality regarding the treatment of women. Muslim women have become the standard-bearers for the cause, but the truth is it is a world-wide problem in all cultures no matter the religion involved and whether religion is involved.

A great and wonderful voice is silent today because of the energy spent keeping this cause aloud, alive, and above the horizon where it can be seen. I will endeavor to carry on the cause until she recovers and returns to wave the flag - much higher and with greater inspiration than I can ever hope to. I do this for you, J. And for the cause which is right.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to go about this. I have hitherto been lazy, and I've allowed J to work the front lines and face the turmoil and find the articles and pass on the word. Like all followers, I am hardly worthy of the one I follow. So I did a quick search on Google: Women in Islam.

My goal was to try and tap into current events in the Islamic world as they relate to women. The first result was a website called, "Women in Islam". I copied it to my sidebar as a Website of Note. There were several links and I chose to begin with "Women's Rights in Islam". J has taught me that women typically have more rights in Islam (according to the pure interpretation of the Quran) than most anywhere else. But, as has happened in Judaism, Christianity, and who knows how many other places, certain men, for a variety of reasons, have hijacked interpretation and created the hardship which prevails in current understanding.

The first article I read was by Arzu Merali, titled, "They Hate Women, Don't They".

I like the article because it reinforces the truth that we in the west "just don't get it". We're premeditatedly stupid when it comes to other cultures, and blind as bats when it comes to our own.

A couple of excerpts from Ms. Merali's article:

While the gap between Muslims and the west is widening the most striking feature of each other's critiques of their treatment of women is the lack of dissimilarity. Violence, workplace discrimination, educational opportunity and a desire for basic respect from men are universal issues.

Whether we are western, Muslim, both or neither, we must wake up to the possibility that what we see as problematic for women is much the same whoever and wherever we are. Plastered over billboards, or banished from view, women are subjugated by patriarchy. Demeaning Islam excludes the voices of Islamic women and that liberates no one.

We in the west need to wake up to our own treatment of women.

Our own Christian faith agrees with Ms. Merali's assessment.

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hyprocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matthew 7:1-5 New King James Version

Self-Importance is a Dangerous Thing

Last night we watched the end of the movie, "Inherit the Wind", starring Spencer Tracy and Fredric March. In reading up on it this morning I find that (not surprisingly) the film got virtually nothing right.

It turns out the entire trial was arranged as a publicity stunt. Scopes actually had to encourage students to testify against him, and he was never incarcerated. Hollywood was at its peak in condemning Christianity. These were the days when preachers were always portrayed as either hypocrites, loonies, or well-meaning, but ineffective, nice men.

Still, though all of that, the movie does bring out some valid points, not just regarding Christianity, but Islam, Judaism, and any other faith. What it demonstrates is how easy it is for the best of believers in any faith to get caught up in things which have nothing to do with their faith, and then become examples of how not to behave.

The biggest problem is one of self-importance. How easy it is for any of us to be caught by this. All it takes is an audience.

It always comes back to love. Will we love? Do we love? What does it mean?

If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from him: that he who loves God must love his brother also. 1 John 4:20-21 New King James Version

We love people we care about. If we don't care about them, we don't love them. Not really. Take time to get to know the people you meet. You needn't do the things they do any more than they need do the things you do. Let them be people. Learn about them and you will start to care about them, for you will start to see them as God sees them.

Confessions For a Friend

A friend of mine recently posted on her blog some defining moments in her life. I was not aware of them and was kind of thrown by her confessions. But confessions is the wrong word. It implies some sort of wrong-doing on her part, when the truth is she did no wrong. These things happened to her, not because of her. There is a big difference.

She encouraged her readers to reveal some defining moment/s in their lives, but I was not able to right off. And as I have pondered some of my defining moments I realized they were not things I should reveal in someone else's comment trail. If I am going to confess them, I must needs confess them openly. I must display the same kind of courage she did. So I am posting.

Well, not the same kind of courage. I'm posting here, where only one person has ever left a comment. And that person is no longer blogging. So I am making my confessions in an empty room. Not so brave after all.

So what were some of the defining moments of my life?

Probably the first was watching my mother's red face as she shouted at me how much she hated me. I hate to say that was a defining moment, but I was no older than five. And it was a scene repeated many times until I finally left home and didn't go back.

For some reason it sticks in my mind that as I was coming up the stairs to the living room where my parents were talking with my maternal grandmother, I heard they were talking about me. I tried to slip back down unnoticed, but still overheard my grandmother saying, "I feel so sorry for Bevie." I have no idea what she was talking about, but after forty years the memory remains vivid.

I remember the first time (and only time, by the way) I asked someone out for a date. I was told to wait for answer. Then I learned that there was a table of about twenty who were laughing at me, led by my intended. I learned this from one of the revelers who saw fit to let me know. Not to be nice, though.

It was a defining moment when I later fell in love, but dared not confess it for fear of another humiliation. It was a defining moment when I changed school for half a year. I met someone who liked me, and we were becoming friends. Then, suddenly, without explanation, I was cast away. All efforts to recommunicate were rebuffed without a word.

When I fell in love with someone older, and then learned I was just a plaything, that was defining. So was the first time I spent the night in a lover's bed. I thought it would be wonderful, but all I felt was guilt. Ultimately, though, that would lead me to God, and an understanding of forgiveness. I can still recall that first night. It was as if I could feel God enter my body. My room was lit as with a glow. I could read my books by it, and often did for that first year.

A few years later I thought I was to be married. I kept us "pure", resisting hints to take advantage of our alone times. Then, my would-be fiance suddenly returned to a previous fiance and was married. I was just a last fling. An amusing toy.

I resolved to keep myself alone. But then someone showed an interest. Having lost someone for "being pure", I willingly gave myself in order to please. The result of that was a reversal of the night I found God. It was as if I could feel him leave, and since that day I have questioned my status with God continually. I leave myself to his mercy and forgiveness. Without that, I am without hope.

This sense of abandonment has made me weak. It has filled me with fear, self-doubt, and even self-loathing at times. It has broken me, possibly beyond repair. I am easily manipulated by those who enjoy such things. I became a willing cyber partner for someone who gave me kind words, as long as I did what I was told. And to hear (read) the words, I did.

My defining moments have not made me stronger. They have brought me ever lower. It is why I write so often of my fear of hypocrisy, for I look at myself and see that I willingly give myself to those who would pretend. For that reason I am terrified when my friends have to leave, for whatever reason. I try not to be afraid, but I can't forget all the times when others, having taken what I willingly gave, decided they needed no more from me and left. Of course now I am both old enough and fat enough that nobody wants anything physical from me. In that regard I am now safe. The fact is, I have nothing to give, except a willingness to accept and love.

My life became lonely because I didn't know how to live it.

I have new friends now, and that may be my greatest defining moment of all. I can give them nothing, yet they still like me. They visit me and they encourage me. They are accepting me for who I am, which is broken. A few have done that in the past, but they were all forced to leave. Stephen was the last. After he left I had no one. Now I have several. It is a defining moment. May God forgive me for being so selfish over it.

But that is why I am a hypocrite. I preach a godly life, but the false promises of love still entice me. I am a weak person. Yet if God can forgive me, he can forgive anybody. And if I can love anybody, I know God loves them more. For I cannot love more than God. So if I tell you I love you, you can know God loves you, too.

So, if you are a broken person. If you find yourself giving in to wrong in the hope of tasting love, remember that God loves you. I know this. For without meeting you, my heart yearns to comfort and help. If I do that, who wallows in low places, how much more God, who is the Spirit of Love?

In honor of you, my friend, I have written this confession of defining moments. I hope I have not said too much. Please forgive me if I have.