It's Hard Being Down

There are those who by the words they choose seem to imply that faith in God means happiness all the time. I'm not sure that's scriptural, either in the Quran, the Torah, or the Bible. But it's what many preach.

And they have the audacity to wonder why others call them hypocrites.

In the Bible, the Apostle Paul talks about being content.

I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me; you were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I complain of want, for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content. I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want. I can do all things in him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:10-13 Revised Standard Version

Like many people, I internally translated Paul's words to mean he was happy. But that's not the dictionary definition. The dictionary says content is an adjective meaning: satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

I suppose in a way that is happiness. Here is the dictionary definition for happy: delighted, pleased, or glad; characterized by or indicative of pleasure or contentment; joyful; fortunate or lucky; felicitous; skillful or apt.

The word "contentment" is used in the definition for happy, so I suppose there is a correlation.

I suppose happiness is when one is pleased about what one is not trying to change. Resignation would be the partner with that. Resignation is: to give over without resistance; to give up.

I suppose it's bad to resign. I know others hate it when I do so in a game. But when there is nothing left for me to do, what else can I do but stop and let what happens happen?

That's the way I'm feeling today. Another month is over and things have been set in motion for me to be out of this house within two weeks. For others, this is a time for rejoicing. It's something they can look forward to with joy and gladness. A new hope. For me not so. For me it is the ultimate failure. I was told to do something. I tried to do it. Nothing good happened. I mucked it up. And now I'm tired. Exhausted. I fought and lost. Nothing good happened.

True, it isn't over. But things are in motion now. The sense of absolute failure is overwhelming. It's the story of my life.

For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 Revised Standard Version

But you know, it would be nice to win once in a while. To be right.